Are YOU on the spectrum??

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If you’re a teen, young adult or parent of a child on the spectrum and you’re reading this, could you give me some advice?  M is in 3rd grade and so far… we’ve pushed.  We’ve pushed through projects and homework and presentations and school events (as he was able).  Now we’re really really having to push.  Homework is much harder, therapy takes more work, everything is so much more effort.  I don’t mind it, it seems to (slowly) be taking hold and he is indeed getting the work done, but it is truly a monumental effort on his part.  So my question is this.  Did your parents/caregivers push you “through” your school work and through your therapies?  Did it work?  Was it worth it?  Are you thankful or did you notice?

We recently had his homework load reduced to an “as he is able” basis.  Sometimes he can do more, sometimes he can’t.  It was like walking through molasses.  We received permission to use dictation software to help him with tests where writing was involved so that he could meet time requirements without worrying about his motor skill abilities.  He uses headphones to handle noise when he needs to.  He uses lists in his folders to remember what he is supposed to be doing without having to ask repeatedly.  The supports are helping.  I just want him to do the very best he can, but I don’t want to push him beyond his capabilities if that makes sense.  Any thoughts anyone?

I haven’t posted lately because ever since M had that verbal assault on the playground from a parent, mentioned in my last post, I have been rather shook up.  I am trying to come out of it.  There are other things to do – too many balls in the air to fixate on just one.  In any case, I may be a bit all over the place here.  Just hang on.  That’s what I do!

I would like Miss S to join Daisy Scouts next year, but there isn’t a younger scout troop at the school, so I am volunteering to be a Daisy Scout leader since I will no longer have any littles with me during the day.  I’m actually really looking forward to it!  I loved scouting when I was a little girl.

#BeFierce  #HangOn

#IamAFierceMom

Kelly

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Playground Antics

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I have got to grow thicker skin.  Or home school.  One of the two.

My boy M.  He gets the short end of the stick on the playground so often.  When he was younger, maybe 5 or 6, he would get pushed around at the park sometimes because he didn’t understand how to interact with children as well as others and sometimes they made fun of him.  He didn’t realize they were making fun of him and that made them mad!  So eventually they would resort to physical pushes and punches which he understood hurt, but not why he was being hurt.  Eventually he learned to push back and punch back.  It was a big milestone for him!  And also, the beginning of hard knocks on the playground.  He’s a kid, it’ll happen.  Well, in our “everyone’s a bully society”, the parents jump first and ask questions later.  I admit, I’ve done the same thing – we’re all worried about our own children.  Its a safety issue.  The problem is that many children never learn to fix their own problems.

I am so angry.  A dad on the playground today verbally assaulted M like he was an adult.  He was raving at him and M didn’t know how to respond.  He just started screaming.  He’s 8.  I RAN over to where this was happening and tried to redirect the man’s anger towards me.  The dad kept repeating himself over and over and eventually I said that we needed to either call the paramedics, an attorney or let it go.  After everyone calmed down we eventually had the children talk about how hitting was not appropriate behavior for the playground.  M apologized 3 times, tried to fist-bump and shake hands with the boy and the boy refused to participate.  Those are huge social milestones for M.  He even called the boy a “little dude”.  SO much progress.  In the end, it wasn’t the dad that went to the school to make a report.  It was me.  M is currently so afraid of the dad, he doesn’t want to go to the playground.  I am sure we don’t have all the information.  Still, stress.  Over a playground.  ::headdesk::

Ugh.  Its stuff like this that makes me want to home school.  Stupid politics.

Grocery Ghosts

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Just when I think I get this anxiety thing all wrapped up neat with a bow it seems to come unraveled.  We’ve had a lot happen lately, both good and bad stressors and the effect that has had on my anxiety has just been monstrous.  I take my meds and then I feel …. hmmm… disconnected.  It’s as though I’m trying to have a panic attack, but its not working out well, but I wouldn’t call it being relaxed at all.  Its funny about anxiety… I was at my mom’s group this morning and I mentioned I was having trouble with shopping at large stores right now.  They are so overwhelming even when I’m alone.  The lights, the advertising, the noises!  I felt like I have been taking on my child’s over-stimulation issues.  Could it be catching?  Just kidding.  My quarry of moms, after chatting for a moment, suggested that its remembered stress.  Kind of like PTSD.  I have felt so very overwhelmed and stressed and emotionally unhinged in atmospheres like that for such an extended period of time that now when I go into similar settings my mind enters fight or flight mode!  I can’t remember what I need, if I have a list, I can’t seem to work out how to get to the items I need.  I always have to go to the restroom.  Its a bit ridiculous.  I can usually manage smaller grocery stores like Trader Joe’s, but not always.  Example:  The other day in Trader Joe’s I got to the cash register and then remembered about 5 things that I needed and I asked if I should come back and the cashier was super-nice and took pity on my obvious rush to exit the store as soon as possible and asked someone to finish my shopping for me.  I even got a lollipop.  :::headdesk::::  The whole experience is completely stressful.  Much of it is imagined.  Occasionally I even forget that I have this problem and I venture out into a random general grocery store like “whatever” because I’m a grown-a** woman, right?  I can shop!  Well…. sort of.  Then I get in the store and I begin to hyper-ventilate and I get “fogged in” where I can’t really hear conversations around me and I can’t focus and suddenly I am looking for an exit.  This is why I have been so excited about online shopping because I can avoid all of those stressors.  My friend mentioned today that I really should maybe work on that.  Shopping in stores I mean.  The way she so kindly put it was, “You’ve got a long way to go ahead of you, you’re going to have to be able to go into stores!”.  LOL!  My moms group is going to plan a shopping-therapy outing to our newest local grocery store, Mariano’s.  I’ll keep you posted.  Apparently I am not the only one overwhelmed by grocery stores.

#BeFierce  #getyergroceries  #AxeMyAnxiety

#IamAFierceMom

Kelly