This was what my husband said to me after tiring of hearing about all of our church drama. I just stopped mid-sentence. Um, yeah, but its a church, not a doughnut. I do really really love gourmet doughnuts. You may recall my post here where I just “lost it” while waiting in line at Bennison’s, a local bakery here. Quick recap: I have 3 children plus DH and myself, I spend a minimum of $18 walking into a bakery and usually its more if we get loaves of bread or rolls, etc. Its hard for me to get there to begin with, what with all the wiggly ASDness and whatnot, and its usually a “treat” for my children. I don’t expect special treatment, but I do expect to get my “turn” in line after I’ve been waiting there for ages. In any case, I know what he meant. “Leave the drama alone”. Per our difficulty with our special needs child at church and other religious education goals not lining up, we have officially left our church and the notification e-mails have been sent and phone calls made. Here was my original post about that. I am more upset than I thought I would be, but I do think it was the right decision in the long term. I am most sorry that I have lost a couple of new, but good friends from the congregation due to just…. drama I guess. I’m not even sure what happened. Here are the reasons we left the church:
- Our spiritual journey is not aligned with that of the church and we can’t in good conscience continue along this path of religious education for our children.
- Our children are getting older and moving into the “big kid” classes. It is important to us to have a more structured environment for their religious education. At this time the staff, model and structure for caring for our ASD child does not meet our needs.
- We have felt that the church is becoming more and more committed to social outreach causes instead of nourishing the body and spirituality within the church.
- Along with ministering to those with regards to racial diversification, economic inequality and immigration reform, ministering to individuals with special needs and the families who care for them can indeed be its own method of “outreach” into the community and we would like to be in a place where this is more of a priority.
I was also especially hurt because our “spiritual journey” is pushing us in more of a conservative direction right now and its just not something that I ever thought I would be judged for. We don’t all take the same path.
Anyway, I’m off to Hewn. They have amazing croissants. 😉
Be Fierce. #Dropthatdoughnut
Its the end of the school year and we’re so so very busy. Everyone is tired. We ALL need a vacation. I am still (still) recovering from last Thursday. It was such a hard day that when I eventually got into bed I actually hurt I was so tired. Miss S was home with me because her last day of school was Tuesday. So, she and I got up, got M all ready for his field trip day, took both the boys to school and then stopped for a lovely croissant at Hewn, my new favorite local bakery and coffee shop. (Omg, they have this lovely steam press coffee – so good!!) Lovely wooden and wire screen door, lovely wafts of fresh baked bread! Yum! Thursday was their 2nd anniversary in lovely Evanston so they were giving out free cups of coffee to customers. Cheers! Later in the afternoon..the circus began. Armed with a “to do” bag for Miss S just in case and snacks we headed to the elementary school for Bash’s “end of the year” party with his class. It was like a mini field day with a bubbles station, chalk on the sidewalk station, coloring station to make a project for their teacher, and a relay station where they ran relays back and forth climbing over and under jumbo tunnels and ending with a potato sack jump. At the end of the party, there was popcorn and ice cream for all the children. The two little sisters, including Miss S, who attended on behalf of their siblings, were also included in the festivities. Aside from a weird moment where the teacher declared that Bash wasn’t happy and could I look into it, we had a very nice time outside. (He was fine. Not sure what the problem was.) I took Bash and “M” out of school a few minutes early to go to Miss S’s class party which started 5 minutes before the elementary school even let out! (who schedules these things??) We dashed across town and got in line to “sign in” to her end of the year party. It was madness. They had basically invited the entire school and their families to participate in “learning stations” ALL together in the gym. It was loud, it was crowded and we had 45 minutes to get stations completed, earn “keys” to unlock a special gift for Miss S, take pictures with a large stuffed lion and dash off to swimming lessons. It was crazy. The noise was more than M could take and he kept saying it was “too loud” and had his hands on his ears. I finally told him to go into the hallway and wait there for us. That was very very mature/skilled of him to 1) notice that he was uncomfortable and 2) be able to articulate that without stemming. It was also very brave of me. He used to be a wanderer and he doesn’t on purpose anymore, but its so hard for me to let him have little bits of independence like that without panicking. I need to get him some headphones. We’ve tried it before when he was a little younger and he wouldn’t wear them. I think he might now. He hates the noise and he realizes it helps him. He’s come a long way this year. I digress. Ok – so 40 minutes later I am hurriedly coloring elephants onto Miss S’s animal hat to get one more key for her prize (it was a book that we already have 3 copies of :::headdesk:::) and we are running out the door. We arrived at the YMCA for the last swimming lesson of the session and I sent Miss S on (she was already dressed for swimming under her clothes) towards the pool while I wrangled the boys with their swimsuits in the dressing room. At this point, I was fading and hungry. I hit the snack machine for Pirate Booty and one of those Zero Water things or whatever they are called and went to sit (and sweat) in the bleachers of the pool area. I love to watch their swimming lessons and I do try to enjoy it, but when you’re tired and carrying bags of “stuff” and towels and sweating in the steamy pool room, its just not that easy to “enjoy”. Anyway, 20 minutes later I was dashing back down through the stairwells to retrieve Miss S and get everyone’s certificates. Miss S and Bash both have graduated to the next level of swimming classes. Miss S will be an Eel next session. Bash will be a Guppy. M will need to repeat his Polliwog class. This will be his third time taking the class. He has improved so very much, but is just not confident enough in his skill to have the independence necessary to move on. Of course we wish that he could move up, but its not a race, and as long as he is learning and improving, that is the most important thing. Anyway, after a quick picture holding their little certificates by the pool where M was sobbing (gotta do the “mom” thing, right?), I ushered everyone to the car to head out for doughnuts to celebrate. (M was upset that he was leaving his teacher by the way, not that he had not progressed to the next level. He doesn’t really care about that. Loves his teacher though.) While standing in line at The Bakery Which Shall Not Be Named, we waited for I’m not kidding, like 20 minutes. They were NOT busy! The @#$% staff kept taking the “next” customer from the END of the line! I finally shouted that I was certain that I was next and could I please be helped so that my loud and bouncy children and I could leave! I got a nasty comment from the woman next to me with her gigantic stroller about how I wasn’t paying attention in line. I responded that I couldn’t move because we were all trapped behind the gigantic stroller over by the cakes and couldn’t make it to the cash register. After nasty glares, we finally did manage to get some doughnuts and leave. Whew! Not going in there any time soon again. Pffft. They have cold coffee anyway. We were actually on our way to one final event of the day when I decided that I just couldn’t go on. We missed the end-of-the-year school picnic and went home where I made 1 lovely homemade pizza for dinner and 1 burned to a crisp pizza for dinner and then we all dunked into the tub and hit the hay.
Be Fierce. Don’t get bullied in your bakery!