Growing up is so hard.
My middle son, my neurotypical child, is a lot like a first-born child to me. Or rather, we go through many “firsts” that my oldest child has not gone through yet and some, as an ASD child, that he may never go through at all. Mr. A comes running up to me on the playground sad and nearly in tears that there was a small group of children “talking” about him and his friends and threatening to put something on FB about them. You know, he has mentioned this problem and even this particular group of children before and I just didn’t take it seriously because 1) Generally younger children don’t have smart phones with internet access and FB accounts and 2) younger children are prone to more “outlandish” threats and finally 3) I just hadn’t seen it happen. Well I saw it that day on the playground as I was watching the children play and chatting with a friend of mine. After Mr. A came to tell me what happened a boy drove his bike over to where we were and again made the threat to my son… in front of me. How bold is that? Then he biked over to his small group of friends. I had so much information hit my brain at once I felt like I was on one of those Bugs Bunny cartoons where I had steam coming out of my ears from an overload. These children were older. “Big kids” from the middle school. They did have smart phones with internet access. After realizing this I walked over and addressed them, trying to use my best parental voice and sound emotionally-even and mature instead of freaking out that my babies had been threatened. It was difficult. Afterwards we left the playground and went to another nearby play area.
Later on I tried to explain to my son that people only talk about you when you’re important. They talk because you have something they want, or they want to be like you. Possibly, they may even want to be your friend, but they may not know how to express that. He was still a little blue, and we’re working on it. My oldest son, my autistic child, has the gift of irrelevancy. If something is not immediately important, especially in a social scenario, he is not concerned and may not even remember that it happened. If he does happen to remember, he is so unconcerned with it, it might as well have happened to someone else. DH and I are often curious about what it must feel like to be him. In some ways, it must be pretty awesome to not have to carry all your emotional baggage with you! Talk about taking a load off! In other ways, he may be so bogged down with other racing thoughts he just may not have the brain space for all of the social nuances in every day life. Who knows? Maybe one day he’ll tell us.
Be Fierce. #DiscussIdeas