This is where I give up.

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For today anyway.  Its been a rough week or two.  M, my ASD child, is having a very hard time keeping up with the homework requirements for his class.  We were spending upwards of 3 hours every night on homework.  It was grueling.  There were tears all around.  I tried positive rewards charts, withholding treats, positive reinforcements, general encouragement/cheerleading and then just pushing him through it.  When it eventually started keeping our entire family from eating dinner before 7pm, my 3-year-old from going to bed a reasonable hour and my blood pressure going through the roof, I started e-mailing the teachers.  They responded quickly!  At night no less!  So, now we’re in the process of rethinking what his at-home requirements are.  He works so hard just to get through his day, to be sitting upright, quietly, using lots of motor skills that require constant concentration, that to expect him to do that all day and then all night is just not reasonable.  I’m exhausted from the emotional toll.  I’m exhausted from his attitude about it all.  I’m just out of energy to deal with any of this right now.  I need a day off!

Yesterday Miss. S drew all over A’s dinner table chair with a permanent pen, today she drew all over the inside of a drawer with a sharpie.  I have punished, I have gotten apologies, I have made her tried to make her “clean” it.  Its permanent for the most part.  I may be able to get most of the pen off the chair.  We’ll see.  A, my middle child, got written up for jumping around in the bathroom at school yesterday so that was fun.  To add fire to the flame, he  will follow nearly anyone’s suggestion that he do anything lately, so when his older brother suggested that they split Miss. S’s dinner while she went to the restroom during the meal, he was all on board.  I’m not sure how you teach child to think for themselves.  I’m also unsure of how to discipline worth a flip lately.  Nothing seems to work, although there is some pretty decent conversation about earning rewards and then taking some rewards away as a consequence for bad behavior.  I dunno.  If the children’s beahvior does not improve, we will not be able to go on our summer trip because I have to be able to handle them on my own and it requires a fair amount of cooperation on their part as well.  These days, I’m not seeing much of that at all.  Its exhausting, I’m battling for them right and left in schools, on the play ground, on the soccer field, in play groups and they’re fighting me back.  I can’t win.  Fierce fail?  Is that a thing?

You be fierce.  I’m going to bed.  I’ll be fierce tomorrow.

Kelly

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