…. and I am sad.
I knew it was coming, I knew it would get harder, but I couldn’t predict when that would be or how it would hit. Today is day 5 of 16 on my own with the mons-ners. I’ve been doing it. #doitlikeajob. Thursday we had a lazy morning and then attended the meeting with M’s teacher. (Yup, ALL of us!) Miss. S basically took everything off every shelf in the classroom, tore open a box of crayons and managed to lose some school supplies I’m going to try to pay for. :::head desk::: I think A wanted to try everything, and so kept coming over to ask a million questions. But – we did manage to get through some major points of M’s IEP. Super-strong math skills, supports in place to help focus, supports in place for his breaks, keeping him on task, reading levels, what she will put in place for his goals going forward, etc. It was a good meeting even with the chaos and most importantly, M saw who she was so he can make that connection on Monday, the first day of school. Afterwards, we had a playdate scheduled with our super-big playgroup, TPC (The Parent Circle), but it was cancelled due to rain. Boo. We ended up just hanging out at home. It was fine, I needed to order/sort school supplies anyway.
Today started with a playdate with my lovely friend Kate and her two girls. (Hi Kate! Thanks for coming over!) The kids had soo much fun – super good. And she brought snacks! Yay! Yummy bread and berries and cheese! Everyone loved it and I’m actually going to track down that store just for the bread – seriously good stuff from Mariano’s. After a quick break we went to playdate #2 for the day, mostly children from A’s kindergarten class last year plus their siblings. It was hot and muggy and gross, but the kids had an amazing time together and watching it just made the problems of the day seem irrelevant. It was one of those times where you you realize you’re watching what you’ve been hoping for, for your kids. You hope they’re going to have friends who are inclusive of everyone and who show compassion when someone gets hurt and who run and play and sing silly songs (“Everything is Awesome…”) together. It was great for me to see the other moms too. The adult interaction is good for me!
This evening though, I seem to have fallen apart. Not sure what happened. Maybe its a chemical thing. I just suddenly realized its been 5 days (only 1 day longer than my normal week with the kids), but that it would be that times 3 before dear hubby got back and things would begin to go back to normal. We have 2 more days until we lose communication for a week. (no signals in the desert) So, I got to text and talk on the phone to him for a few minutes and I seem to have found some of my marbles again. Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe, I could just sleep! Except that I can’t sleep until I’m ultra-tired because of my anxiety right now. *deep breath*
Still, 2 days of the weekend – which I have planned pretty well to be busy and then on Monday hopefully the stress will ease up a little with the boys at least being in school for the day.
And my sad little self is going to still be fierce. I’m going to get up in the morning and make those pancakes and get to that 8AM Meet & Greet and I’m going to have snacks, waterbottles, a first aid kit and extra clothes. Cause its my job. Even when I’m sad. So take that #anxiety!! And get off of my lawn!!
*What’s the Man? See BurningMan.com
*Everything Is Awesome! – song from the Lego Movie
*TPC – The Parent Circle, a play group – Live near me? Want to join? Go Here!
Go out, go find OUT what is going on with/for/about your children and their world and be fierce!