I’ve had a very hard two days with my children. Some of it I can explain, some of it I can’t. I struggle every day. Every day. I work HARD. EVERY DAY. To try to make a little boy fit in well in the world that he doesn’t understand and also try to allow him some comfort within the “spectrum-y” world. He forgives me when I can’t seem to get it right and I forgive him too. I’m sure that in a lot of ways our big trip to visit family this summer was eye opening for many of you who aren’t around us very often. Well, that’s us. Every day. I mean, maybe it was a little worse with M’s behavior due to a constantly changing schedule (which makes him feel super uncomfortable by the way). Honestly it could have been much much worse. I actually think it went quite well, its just what you compare it with. I was so angry and frustrated at the children and just the world this evening that I couldn’t even get words out correctly. I took the children to the library, set M and A up at the computers to play games, walked S over to the play area to play with the kitchen area and when S had to go to the bathroom and I calmly explained where I would be to the boys and that I would be RIGHT back, of course my spectrum-child jumps up and runs to the library desk to ask where his mom is. ::::head palm::: Of course his brother didn’t stop him. ::::head palm:::: :::::deep breath::::: So, after sorting all of that out, we are on the way home and I decide against better judgement that we need milk. (we really did!) So I stopped at Trader Joe’s. I did this for a couple of reasons. 1) its small – no cavernous sounds to set M off. 2) the lights don’t make a lot of noise 3) the lights are white not yellow like Jewel-Osco. I can’t hardly take M into Jewel because of the color of the lights Anyway – so run in and run out, right? Well…. sort of. Ran in – got milk – ran out boys are making ‘poop jokes’ in the check-out. So frustrating!! Anyway – made it home and then our tummy troubles plague us again. Oy.
The past few days we’ve had some gastrointestinal trouble. I think we caught a bug and have been passing it around. Hence our dash out of the playdate world this week. (We’ve been at home everyone if you’ve missed us!) Anyway, and yesterday there were lots of toddler illness accidents that resulted in me being covered in vomit, washing sheets, rugs, pillows, potty accidents (not just the toddler this time!), more sheets, more rugs, more pillows. Our poor rug. I mean really, I think it might be cursed. As soon as it gets washed and dried on the line and upstairs – for like 5 minutes its really nice looking – adds a whole new dimension to the tired bathroom on our main floor and then… poof!! Accident. ugh.
So. Tomorrow’s a new day. I’m going to get up and do it again. Hopefully with less tummy trouble and more Zumba classes. (gotta kick out the stress!)